Thursday, February 17, 2005


is said to be the only thing constant. It sounds like a contradiction, but on further thought, one will agree that it is true. I think when one changes in the right direction it can only lead to growth. But, yes, for me to change, I have to be convinced about the change. I will not change, just because my behaviour displeases someone or someone wants me to change. Of late, though, I have changed. In the past year itself I have changed. And going by the feedback that I receive from people it must be for the good.
I had been thinking of penning these thoughts for quite some time now, never got around to it. But, today, someone reiterated an observation made by a very good friend of mine and I had to put these thoughts on 'paper'. So, here I am writing about change and how I have changed over the past year or so.
A good friend 'A' and his friend 'B' and I were part of a lunch group. Though B and I were always cordial to each other, we never were as good friends as A and I are. However of late, B's behaviour towards me changed and A asked him about it. To which the response was - my (B's) behaviour has not changed, it is she (I) who has changed. (Actually, pardon me if this gets confusing, but it is primarily because I want to write without invading the privacy of my friends).
If, it were the way, I was earlier, I would not even try to be cordial to a person who has upset me (I still reserve this behaviour, though it depends on the degree to which I'm upset with the person). Anyway, so, I decided to let bygones be bygones and talked to such a person sometime last year, before he left to pursue his career goals elsewhere. After, my break in silence with him, I've had enough number of arguments with him, but each time, I've managed (that's a big thing for me) to look beyond the arguments and talk to him again. Today, it was him who actually brought to my notice yet again the change in behaviour. His observations - I've become more patient, sobered down, have become much more likeable, approachable and sensitive. Believe me, coming from him, these are compliments, primarily because he and I have such a different thought process in almost everything, it is like we always agree to disagree.
One last thing, that I would like to say is about my friend A. Sometime back, he reacted to something which I did, in a bad manner. Normally, I would have been very, very upset with him, but I just decided, yes, his behaviour hurt, but I shall not let it affect the afternoon and went along with him for lunch as usual. He was happy with it ofcourse and it kind of confirmed B's observation about me to him.
There are still a few things that haven't changed though, my resilience and also my inability to tolerate the idiotic or rather non-existent traffic sense in Bangalore.
On the whole, though, I am just glad that I've changed. I wrote this, because, right now, I just need to feel very, very good about myself.


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